The Penguin Blowjob

You change your "training" schedule and discard any wishes or hopes of racing well this year to accommodate the long, ceaseless hours of pedalling you'll have to do. You force yourself to endure solo rides where you can't hide from the wind behind a fellow rider and there is no-one to talk to to pass the time......only an iPod to drown out the stinging acid in your legs and the wheezing from your lungs. You learn to eat and drink when your body says, "I'm gonna reverse the flow if you shove down one more bite of a powerbar!" Slowly building that mental and physical discipline needed to carry on after the magical 80-90 mile barrier of fatigue is reached and finally surpassed.

Planning, planning, and more planning. Worrying. Wondering exactly what it all will mean in the end. 170 miles. Flat roads with no hope to rest weary legs on a gentle down slope. No hiding from wind or rain if it comes at you teeth bared. 170 miles...

You and your spouse take off from work but know that the journey ahead is not the 3-day fun vacation it would seem to be. Especially when Cocoa Beach, Fla. is the destination, and the start of sorts toward another...........170 miles.

The anxiety builds and the adrenalin begins to flow as the date nears, and you begin to be a little short and less friendly with the people that mean the most to you in your life. That 170 mile journey is already getting the best of you and you didn't even see it coming.

When the time draws down to less than 24 hours until you turn the pedals on a long day in the saddle churning non-stop from Cocoa Beach to Crystal River, Fla., you feel as if you're standing on the precipice of a mountain overlook and could fly if you dared but just leap. The exhilaration is nearly overwhelming and you need to release all the pent up energy, desire, and even anger you're holding back.

Then someone tells you that the event was postponed until October..........no wait............November.

"Uhmmmm.........do whayuuut?"

Picture a man that has his pants around his ankles receiving "relations" from a paid-employee-of-sorts. At the moment of this man's greatest intensity, desire, and weakness, the paid-employee-of-sorts walks away without finishing the task at hand and the man says, "WAIT!! WHERE ARE YA GOING?!!" And, the walk begins....

Yep, sorry 'bout that but you'll have to wait a few months. Of course there is no prior notification that something was up! And, where is the fellow that took nearly 100 folks' money you dare ask? No-one has any clue.

WHAT THE F@#k???!!!!!!

Authorities have and are being contacted by nearly 80 of us I know of who just got bent over without so much as a reach-around, and my single hope is that this guy gets a little time in jail with someone that likes to whisper sweet nothings into his ear akin to Mike Tyson but with the imagination of whoever in the hell wrote Deliverance.

So what do you do when the last 5 months of your life and all that preparation has been double-barreled in the ass? You make lemonade of course and enjoy your days as best you can!

We visited Kennedy Space Center as planned on Saturday, and I've got to say was worth the visit in every way. We even saw an American bald eagle above its nest that measures over 8 feet across. We got to touch a moon rock as well. Simple things for sure, but touching a piece of another planetary object is pretty cool. Seeing and learning about the US space program up close was pretty intense for me since aviation and specifically aerodynamics is my passion. After the KSC visit, we managed to find some local wine that was pretty tasty, but expensive, and I polished off a bottle while sitting on the beach watching the tide come in at sunset. I took lots of photos and might have them posted on my flickr site later if motivation finds me.

The next morning, we arose early to watch the sunrise while listening to the collision of waves, wind, and sand. It was a beautiful experience that made life worth living.

Now, if I could only have a bit more drama in my life. Wait........Gerry Springer is on line one. Gotta go..........