How bad did it hurt?

True, suffering has reality in it.
Who denies it?
But the transcendence of suffering
Also has reality in it.
Who can disbelieve it?

~Sri Chinmoy

This pretty much describes last Thursday's ride. I've felt a lot worse many times before, but its when you know you can go but your body just won't cooperate with the desire to do so that the suffering becomes more than just physical.


Eddie Hudspeth joined our Thursday group ride and he is always a welcome sight on our rides. It means we have someone there that can hand our asses to us if we get too froggy, but most importantly it means that we have someone that will help us get better in every aspect of cycling. He always encourages us to work together as a whole to push ourselves to the limits. I listen to him and put his knowledge to good use. Sometimes people can't meet the challenge of these hard rides, but that is not Eddie's fault. Riders have bad days or just can't hang at the pace we want to go when a faster rider is amongst the group. No excuses. You just have to push if you desire to get better on our "training pace" rides.


I felt pretty good at the start but the legs just wouldn't get me where I needed to be. I was pushing way too hard to maintain the pace we were doing the entire ride. Not that it was any faster than most rides. It was just a mediocre day on the bike for me, and the wrong day for it to happen. HR was through the roof. Legs ached like fire ants were devouring them and my bones felt as if they were composed of rubber. I was in my own personal sufferfest and Eddie was the only one that recognized it. I guess my poker face didn't fool a veteran racer. My body was telling the tale long before Eddie told James D. that he knew I was working way too hard today. Back-bone swaying like a Willow tree in the breeze. Tension reined in my shoulders, arms, and grip on the bike. Calves were tense the entire pedal stroke. Jaw locked down and open trying to scoop more air to feed a desperate engine. No, I wasn't relaxed at all and all I felt was pure misery. But you can't give in............ever.


The good that came from this was proved in Eddie's topic of discussion at the beginning of our ride: "a racer must have a the desire to push beyond the pain, his limits, and sometimes good judgement to be better." Not that I'm a racer, but I have the desire to get better, faster, and stronger. Nearing 40 years, I know my limits aren't far off from where I'm already. I'm also a bit on the ignorant side to give up on the ride and go easy. I've done rides where I've dropped to the back where no-one can see me hurl, sprint to get back on the draft, and do it again the next rotation. I can rest when the ride is done. One thing this last ride told me is that the plateau I'm at as far as ability is nearing the end and I should make a small step up in strength and speed the next few weeks. We'll see what happens.