Fire extinguishers 101

Thought I’d share my day’s experience with you to make you feel better about yours:

My class is at the end of the fuel metering course and we’re on the run-up pad with a J-35 Bonanza that has enough power to roll over the chocks even when you hold the brakes. The checklist is pretty straight forward for start-up procedures for an injected engine, but it is easy to flood if you don’t do the checklist correctly and get the engine started. Sometimes, you may even have a little fire come out the engine exhaust if it sputters on start-up and then quits. Piston aircraft do this from time to time. You’ll have fuel burning in the exhaust, but there is nothing to worry about if you follow the checklist. Oh, and use some common f-ing sense. Hence, the rest of my story was a learning experience for my students and will be entertaining to you I’m sure.

Scenario: Aircraft on the run-up pad; checklist complete; prop area cleared; fire bottle manned (too well); boost pump on low; hit the starter button. Putt, putt, putt, crack, pop, plunk.........sputter, sputter, sputter. Try again. Putt, putt, putt, crack, pop, POP!!!! Sputter, sputter, sputter……..

The engine has stopped. Due to the engine driven pump turning and adding more fuel into the cylinders as it turn a few times, in addition to what the boost pump has done for start-up, we now have a little – and I do mean little - fire in the exhaust system and on the ground where excess fuel has drained from the intake manifold. No worries, right? The proper procedure ladies and gentlemen is to quickly pull the mixture to idle cut-off, push the throttle to full (wide open) to clear the engine and continue cranking to try and start the engine and hopefully blow out the little fire.

Enter the MGTC Aviation Maintenance Student Fire Brigade.

“Fire! Fire! Fire!,” two of them shout.

I stick my head out and investigate. No danger that we can’t handle from the cockpit. I yell to them to “Clear Prop!!” This means stay the F@#* out of the way because I am attempting to start the engine.

But, in the split second it takes me to react, pull the mixture, shove the throttle forward, and hit the start button, the student sitting on my left is beginning to climb over me with eyes wider than any owl on this planet, and fire marshals Dumb and Dumber have unleashed a very large, pull-cart type, Class-D fire extinguisher – from over 20 freakin’ feet away. And they aren’t hitting shit with it.

Picture this: clear blue sky, slight breeze in the air, classic 1958 Beechcraft Bonanza (the cool V-tail type) on the pad, and several students from other programs watching from a distance (because let’s admit it, roaring aircraft engines are the shizzle), my students are at their correct positions for learning and safety. The engine is turning in a start attempt…… and then………someone hits the stupid button.

White powder is flying around like a group of runaway weight watchers gone-off-the-wagon hitting the powdered donut section at Dunkin Donuts. Class-D extinguishers will do that when you spray them upward at 45 degree angles from 20 goddamn feet away instead of sweeping the ground close in to the tiny flames. POOF!!!

I’m stuck in the airplane working to get the controls set right to prevent a worse situation from happening, but I’m fighting the escape attempts of a 28 year old man turned ‘scared little gonna-piss-my-pants-and-yours if you don’t get out of my way’ girl trying to crawl over me and away from the now fast approaching white-out the fire brigade is creating.

It is over in less than five seconds.

The entire aircraft is covered with extinguishing agent. You can not see a single fleck of paint on the outside. Oh, did I mention the inside got covered too? Oh yeah, baby! Instruments and all. And it happened before I could get out while sissy boy nearly beat me to death trying to save his worthless powder coated ass too!

I can hear you laughing from here. Stop it.

I think half the school was around back when I finally got the powder out of my eyes, ears, and lungs enough to stop the fire brigade from putting the rest of our campus out. And you know what the real killer is to all this? I got the flames out doing what was common sense and instinctive to a mechanic/pilot. Something these students know and discussed with me prior to this engine run and every other we’ve ever done. The fire brigade couldn’t see the fire was out because they had already unleashed 50 pounds and $350 worth of Dragon Equalizer in rainbow fashion. They were all smiles until they finally saw through the dust envelope their instructor was emerging from. If they get that aircraft cleaned out and cleaned up, on top of passing upcoming exams from me, they might just pass this class. Hmmmm………..

Some days it just isn’t worth getting out of bed. I think I’ll move to a quiet place along the Arctic Circle where the only work I need to do to survive is beating baby seals to death with a long pole…….